How Big Is The Tumor Inside My Head?

There is an old Saturday Night Live skit which parodied the PBS talk show, The McLaughlin Group. The host in the skit, playing the eccentric John McLaughlin, asked his panel of commentators a series of increasingly bizarre questions until he finally asked "How big is the tumor inside my head?"

No one dared offer a guess, so he revealed that it was "The size of a tangelo."

I want you to know, upfront, though even though I wrote in my first post that I am not a lunatic, well, even a lunatic might assert such a thing.

I accept two possibilities:

1. The stuff I am worrying about is real.
2. I am mentally ill.

Actually, there is a third possibility:

3. The stuff I am worrying about is real and I am mentally ill.

I find the third proposition to be strangely comforting, for it means that I eventually will be insane enough not to consider the problems of the world around me as it collapses. I'll be too busy making paper airplanes and talking to Napoleon to worry about the trivial issues of survival that concern you petty mortals. You want to know what I think? Hah! Talk to the tangelo, bitches. I will be of no help to you.

So, read with caution. I may be on to something. Or I may be headed for medications, icy baths, the straightjacket, and electroshock therapy.

Time will tell.